This morning I wrote this to my friend Brian:
[Experience] has changed me over the years since I became a Quaker. But I didn't realize how much until I wrote this. I am amazed now by what I wrote. I woke with a start this morning, feeling the echo of being in the clutch of witch-finders. As the pagan I was years ago, I would have condemned this lifting beyond reason as part of what enabled the Church to identify and destroy witches, Jews, gays, anyone different and especially spinsters like me. My experience has changed me, but O, there is still the pagan inside who wants to speak. And she will, I wouldn't want to suppress that truth just as I couldn't suppress this one. But in this last hour she has been questioning me up and down or touching what could be a blessing but has often been the spark for horror. Do I make sense to you? I will pray about this today.
Brian responded: you do [make sense] ...a faith based on feeling is a scary thing to me, it lacks substance...and can def be manipulated and twisted...it can also be un-genuine and exclusive...i try to steer clear of it...and am oft skeptical of it...there is no denying the lift...at times i question the authenticity though
I'll be back with more thoughts.