when it comes to comments
let's think about this together
Which comments do we find the most useful?
Which comments do we want from everyone?
Which do we want from only a few?
I don't know. I have been basking in encouragement lately, although I get little detailed information from the very short comments. I like when people give me back a detail and interpret it. That gives me part of them too. Sometimes I can tell that way whether I need to do more to get my ideas across.
Which comments can we most easily make?
(Most readily and truthfully make without guilt that is)
Are we commenting to encourage?
Are we commenting to improve?
Are we commenting to give back parts of ourselves?
I find that I can always give back a detail whether or not I love a poem or see its structure. I can say when I don't understand--but I cannot say outright if I dislike or see major errors in facts or see overused . . . Indeed, I find that I do not trust others to tell me the truth in these areas either. There is more going on here than insecurity. When I obscure part of my response, I assume others do too.
And what if we are wrong?
And what if we disagree?
We have a lot to talk about here.
I am not afraid to learn I am wrong, and I have a limited amount of tolerance for disagreement.
I don't like either feeling, but so what?
What can I do to be braver and more helpful than I am with all these thoughts about what I and others need and like as inhibitors?
Bring on the theories about stages in creativity.
Bring on the truth about human nature!
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ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you deleted, Aprille! It must have been frustrating to wait for my response. Add of course, without the response what is a dialogue to do? One clear message from the two poetry exchanges I take part in most daily IS the immediacy of response I have neglected here. Thank you for visiting and please try again.
ReplyDeletethis is a great conversation susan, one that i think is well worth having....for me it starts with....why do you do it? why choose to publish poetry online? and then why choose to engage others?
ReplyDeletefor me it comes down to relationship...which makes it really messy...because we court each other and never really get to the maturity of relationship where we can be completely honest with each other...
i have openly invited critique at my place because i dont want people to always agree with me....i dont want a bunch of people just saying i love it because they feel obligated to so i will visit them...
many do not put email on thier site o i cant tell them the grit in private...if there is something off i will point that out...sometimes i do say things that make people uncomfortable and maybe i put my own expectations out there too much...
it is one giant conversation to me...and we will step on each others toes at times but then again that happens in every relationship...this one its just a bit easier to turn the computer off and walk away....
I appreciate your contribution to this discussion. It hadn't occurred to me to make suggestions in private e-mails. (I am going to make sure I have an email on my site.) Privacy might make me braver. I do one thing I am not proud of--if I am not surprised or encouraged to read by anything I've not seen before within the first 6 lines or 1st stanza--I stop reading. Isn't that awful? The impatience I feel at that makes me work harder, though it may not help me to write better poems. And, as you say, it is turning off the computer and walking away. Sometimes I praise harder on poems that reveal an individual just because I think it may help to encourage that direction. I think some readers do that with me too. And I always assume a poet has made choices deliberately and read over and over to understand . . .
ReplyDeletei agree...i like to look at the thought process that goes into a poem...you can tell when it has been crafted and that makes me want to look deeper into it...and i like those as well that you can see it is personal or from the heart...
ReplyDeleteSusan, as I read the things you have written, I realize how little I know, about you, about me and everything else, and how exciting it is to still want to learn and say my things and listen to yours, and to try yo understand more. It is hard to grow upso late in life. Love you, Mom
ReplyDelete