24 March 2012
April 2012: I will take the poetry a day challenge this year, my first
April in retirement. I commit to writing everyday and recording the
results. Heart in throat! This is a public commitment, whereas I have
been happily in hiding, not committed, and hoarding my every word.
Except in a high school poetry club where I felt at home. I will be grateful to those students forever for all that they taught me.
05 March 2012
At the end of my last work day, 3/1/2012, a few of my peers gathered with me at St. Stephens Green to ease the transition to retirement because, of course, I have mixed feelings about leaving. I invited my "go-to" friends, those whose presence at FLC and readiness to work together eased the day-to-day job pressures. The catered gathering was also my thank you to them for their positive support through the years. It was a small and sweet gathering.
Under the hugs and best wishes and smiles I sensed the hyper energy and exhaustion of my friends. It had been a difficult day, especially for the three whom a student had confided in. She had come to school after an incident of sexual abuse and, adding this to other recent losses, was ready to give up. She didn't; she talked to her teachers instead. The challenge was that no resources were available to the staff: Counselors were out of the building and no handouts of help-lines or other resources were in evidence. One teacher surfed for information which she made available to the child, but wasn't sure whether she would be liable for any negative results from her action. We sat and discussed that problem, repeating the ritual support that teachers give each other when the challenges of teaching seem to endanger us.
There is no avoiding the lives of our students. None of us would want to. In these days of teacher ultra-accountability, however, all acts away from the script--acts that are both trust-provoking and educational--are dangerous. Self-preservation makes us hesitate to follow the very instincts that we have honed over the years. These are teacher instincts, the instincts of teachers who teach children rather than merely subjects and who set up learning environments in which meetings for learning occur regularly.
In his recent NYTimes editorial "Confessions of a Bad Teacher," William Johnson details this problem. Following good instincts leads to both negative evaluations and strategic ambiguity on the part of administrators who also seem to be protecting themselves. We have to ask, from whom? Whose job is it to "put the students first" these days? My friends in teaching are the ones who take the actions to make this rhetoric true, and they are the ones who fear for their jobs when the worm keeps turning.
These issues had a part in my need to retire. Nothing makes physical pain more difficult to bear then emotional pain and psychological undermining. I have often been a radical in the face of mind sets--even my own. This weekend's meeting with a successful ex-student from the College of William and Mary reminded me of that, big time. My educational philosophy was honed in the halls of Ellen Stewart's LaMaMa--the subject of my doctoral dissertation and critical hero of international diplomacy through performance. She demonstrated how to guide potential clashes into both collaborative work AND individual integrity--what I think of as the quantum theatre and the United Nations and a classroom of students. I expect to write more about this in the future.
Meanwhile, the friendship among like-minded teachers remains the major life-raft in the sea of politically-motivated school reform. Thank you friends. We do because we do. I will miss you greatly and admire you always.
Under the hugs and best wishes and smiles I sensed the hyper energy and exhaustion of my friends. It had been a difficult day, especially for the three whom a student had confided in. She had come to school after an incident of sexual abuse and, adding this to other recent losses, was ready to give up. She didn't; she talked to her teachers instead. The challenge was that no resources were available to the staff: Counselors were out of the building and no handouts of help-lines or other resources were in evidence. One teacher surfed for information which she made available to the child, but wasn't sure whether she would be liable for any negative results from her action. We sat and discussed that problem, repeating the ritual support that teachers give each other when the challenges of teaching seem to endanger us.
There is no avoiding the lives of our students. None of us would want to. In these days of teacher ultra-accountability, however, all acts away from the script--acts that are both trust-provoking and educational--are dangerous. Self-preservation makes us hesitate to follow the very instincts that we have honed over the years. These are teacher instincts, the instincts of teachers who teach children rather than merely subjects and who set up learning environments in which meetings for learning occur regularly.
In his recent NYTimes editorial "Confessions of a Bad Teacher," William Johnson details this problem. Following good instincts leads to both negative evaluations and strategic ambiguity on the part of administrators who also seem to be protecting themselves. We have to ask, from whom? Whose job is it to "put the students first" these days? My friends in teaching are the ones who take the actions to make this rhetoric true, and they are the ones who fear for their jobs when the worm keeps turning.
These issues had a part in my need to retire. Nothing makes physical pain more difficult to bear then emotional pain and psychological undermining. I have often been a radical in the face of mind sets--even my own. This weekend's meeting with a successful ex-student from the College of William and Mary reminded me of that, big time. My educational philosophy was honed in the halls of Ellen Stewart's LaMaMa--the subject of my doctoral dissertation and critical hero of international diplomacy through performance. She demonstrated how to guide potential clashes into both collaborative work AND individual integrity--what I think of as the quantum theatre and the United Nations and a classroom of students. I expect to write more about this in the future.
Meanwhile, the friendship among like-minded teachers remains the major life-raft in the sea of politically-motivated school reform. Thank you friends. We do because we do. I will miss you greatly and admire you always.
26 February 2012
Sunday morning--the last Sunday before retirement. My head and heart are too full to sort out. I miss teaching. Even though I have been on sick leave and wage continuance for almost 2 months, I feel THE DAY approaching like a kiss or a bite. How long will I know that the students are in my 3-4 class or that it is 11th lunch or poetry club? How long until I know about surgery? How long can I work on what I have saved to do When I Retire before I have to earn money again? Why am I instead looking forward to the next incarnation of teaching--tutoring and editing? THE DAY could be the hug of a bridge between two continents rather than the violence of a kiss/bite. I may stand on the bridge to watch a few days turn around.
14 February 2012
It's been a Long Time . . .
I haven't so much as opened this page in years!
At the risk of embarrassment, I will leave the ancient posts. It was Marsha's Blog that brought me here, simply because I wanted to leave a comment on her influential Ferlinghetti post!
Because I am here, I will leave my latest poem--a harsh one--but approved by the FLC Poetry Club. I love the years I spent with them. No regrets.
13 September 2010
I am writing here only once a year, so maybe it's time to admit that I am not a blogger. Last school year was an intense one in which Philadelphia Schools settled on a contract, and our school delved into project-based, real-world learning while striving to deliver the test practice that helped us achieve AYP. This year we returned to find a new organization of three deans instead of two and more technology to learn. I'm ready for it. I've been given almost all of the English 3, which implies a level of trust. My creative writing class is running for the 4th year in a row. I have based it mostly on Linda Christensen's Reading, Writing, and Rising Up, with a dose of Philadelphia Young Playwrights (we had a winner last year), and an even larger dose of This I Believe.
I'm hoping to write during that class myself. This summer, I went to Edinburgh to take a creative writing course for me--not for teaching methods. I figured that if I couldn't write, I could attend 4 major international festivals. Instead, I started to write seriously, fictionalizing stories I have been carrying around for years. Now I am planning to participate in a PhilWP writer's support group AND planning to attend a retreat for women writers. Maybe continuing--starting-- this blog will be part of the writing this year.
I'm hoping to write during that class myself. This summer, I went to Edinburgh to take a creative writing course for me--not for teaching methods. I figured that if I couldn't write, I could attend 4 major international festivals. Instead, I started to write seriously, fictionalizing stories I have been carrying around for years. Now I am planning to participate in a PhilWP writer's support group AND planning to attend a retreat for women writers. Maybe continuing--starting-- this blog will be part of the writing this year.
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