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It's "coming out" day, and all around me people have been declaring themselves—some with many intersections. Truly, it's a beautiful thing. It makes me feel old fashioned in the labels I know, though. I
see that the labels make it easier for people to find each other for
support and family. I don't know if I will ever know them all, and hope
you will forgive me.
I, who have called myself asexual for many years, really have something like a river of sensuality flowing through me. I am content to know it, and also content to live alone. I think if I talked to people who talked about such things, I would find the right word for it and would be delighted. But I've rarely talked about sexuality since the early 1980s when I was new to feminism and anything personal was political. After those days, when asked what I was—whether living out a hetero or lesbian relationship at the time—I usually just said "sexual." I rejected the label "bisexual" as I had only one relationship at a time. Maybe saying I was simply sexual was a short-cut way of saying that it's a complex question. I am lucky to have been born into the body that suits me, and with a freedom to experience untroubled attraction and love. I am blessed to have had a soul mate among them. Further, I am grateful for the friendships that are equally important relationships; I am blessed by the soul mates among them as we journey toward wholeness.
I've met many people who were troubled about gender and sexuality. As a teacher in theater and creative writing, I have listened a lot. I'd love to experience a world in which all people knew the options and got to know themselves as free, loving, and lovable. I wish all of you reading this could make that world come to be.
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© 2020 Susan L. Chast
