Today, since I had left music on all night, I meditated to music:
This added more layers to mindfulness. I heard the chimes on my cell phone, the music, the alarm clock radio (from upstairs) and the traffic on Church Lane (outside this living room window). Usually I am unaware of the traffic sounds. I noted that I was unable to attempt to include prayer/worship with the meditation practice while I was truly mindful of my place in space. I hadn't realized how much I was "doing" during meditation time. Still, it was much less "busy" than my normal buzz buzz buzzing around.
About the prayer/worship and the buzz: It is no wonder that I hear God and Jesus as voices, since I have a constant stream of business, commentary, second guessing, critique and often recrimination going on in my head. Worship focuses that, quieting much of the internalized messaging. So does meditation, but differently when it is mindfulness meditation. I have been curious about the voice of God--not so much about Jesus--because I don't see God as a man or anything with human features. Alice Walker took that off my mind with her book The Color Purple way back in 1983 when I first read it. In fact, I began hearing God around that time when I opened myself up to a Godness in and around me. I think Mary Daly's sense of God as a verb also helped. My head turns everything, interprets everything, in voices regardless of initial contact. It's just who I am. Buzz buzz buzz. John Calvi actually recoiled from such heady business in one of my workshops with him. He recoiled as if he was burned. I don't think it burns me, but I have been delighted when a different kind of mind fullness gives me a rest: a mind full of breath and sensation and especially sound and smell. I like meditating. I love worshiping and accept God however I become aware of it.
Today I am attending an art and spirituality workshop led by my own Jen Elam! She is not mine, of course, but her home is where we write together, and she has turned her place into a workshop area for the day. I promised to bring an apple sauce so I better get on it even though I have very few apples. I have a new Foley Food Mill I want to try out--new to me from a guy named Jeff. I gave him one of my poetry books for it, that's how delighted I am to have it!
Here is the music I slept with most of the time I slept last night: