I've been distracted, but I've been using the meditation challenge to assist me with both the physical and the emotional disturbances.
Physical therapy has been making me test muscles that I haven't moved for a while. I have been frightened that the pain means I'm pulling too hard on the surgery itself. One of the physical therapists and I discussed the issue. She suggested I go back on pain meds for a while so that I can do the work I need to do. I increased the Lyrica again to 3 pills a day--as it was before--to see if that will work before I try the other.
Emotionally, I was frustrated when the carpenters who are now ripping out and replacing my kitchen floor and my gutters didn't start on Monday! Grrr. And they didn't call. And I had cleared out my kitchen and my schedule for them. I used to smoke cigarettes while waiting. I've learned that meditation works better. Cigs are another med I will not go back to since I left them behind to afford retirement. Yup. Almost $100 extra per month. They started today, Wednesday, and all is going well. But if they need 5 days and keep me out of the kitchen over the weekend, I may need meditation medication for stress again. Just saying.
Yesterday, I tried the breathing all day and finally let it move me into a fitful nap. After I cancelled the day's plans to walk in the woods with Amy, I tried again. I think I was successful as I woke three hours later rested and without pain.
Today, I worked with my own breath again along with an Alexander technique body survey. Wonderful. It must have lasted about 10 minutes before I added healing, love and hugs--for me, for the world, for the people I am holding in the Light.
I used to explode with anger. I can see that Meditation is giving me time to pause and take better care of myself. What a relief.