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This is my attempt to pounce on and then shape the words I breathe.

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Thursday, September 24, 2015

PART THREE: The home stretch of Amanda Kemp's 30-day Challenge

Yesterday I tried three times to meditate but my mind was on what I had to do--not that I was about to do it!  Today, I must--or it was a gesture and undeserved publicity about my activities and depth.  I repeat a promise to myself that I will not play on Face book until and unless I am meditating.  I hope that meditation will still my mind too much to spend time there at all, too much to be happy with such fake news and fake community.  

So now, I am looking for a guide to help me--
I picked one randomly from the internet: 

Meditation for Inner Peace

It took about ten minutes, and had me do it for the purpose of developing good qualities for benefiting myself and others.  So on the inhale I allowed myself to think "for self"  and on the exhale "for others.  I alternated this with "inhale" or "ocean" and "exhale" or "shore."  I kept pulling myself back from the chore list, from associations.

I think it helped that I wrote the poem "Natural Order" first, working with inspiration from Richard Rohr's meditation that I read every morning.  

I feel great. I will keep the idea of benefiting myself and others all day long.

Friday 9/25: Decided to use the same meditation helper today as yesterday, and then see if I can keep it all day.  I should ask Amanda if one of the goals is to do this without aids.  Earlier this month I worked a few days like that.  

Oh--I also want to note that I've now had 2 days of not using Facebook first!  Bravo me!  It's sort of like quitting smoking.

Saturday 9/26--Meditated this morning to 

10 minute Lovingkindness Meditation with Trudy Goodman

and I LOVED it!  

But I have to admit that I spends a few minutes before finding a meditation looking for that 5-minute Loving Kindness Meditation that Amanda loves.  She sent it out again in an email this morning:  
P.S.  My Insight Timer Favorites:
Development of Lovingkindness (27 min)5 minute lovingkindness meditation (5 min)I LOVE Bodhipaksa's voice, his accent, and of course the invitation to practice lovingkindness toward myself, difficult people and the world. 
I may have found it once, but I cannot find it again.  I'll have to ask Amanda for the Link.  

I loved getting a morning email from AManda reminding me to meditate, and:  As we approach our auspicious end point, which occurs on a Super Moon & Lunar Eclipse, take a few minutes to send me an email or a recording (audio or video) about your experiences so far.  So I will.  She also asks how we might continue to stay connected in meditation.  I admit what I want is a 5 minute meditation tape in HER VOICE.  We have all those minute ones from her--how about a meditation in her voice and whatever embellishments she might like to add.

9/27--Again started with a search and found this for busy people:

I liked it--but it was a woman's voice not the Bodhipaksa's voice.  I liked it's attention to the breath and its guidance from body to mind to center and then to tell self what I need to hear.  

I also found this that I have not tried yet:

I think I did this one once before:

So:  Have I made a change in my life?  I note that when I do this my day goes better--just like if I do my physical therapy (and don't eat after 9 pm) at night my sleep goes better.  Will I do it?  Yes. And even, maybe, more and more during the day as a preparation for stopping and seeing and being mindful of God guiding me at all levels and inside and outside.

What do I mean by God?  My connectedness to everything--but not as I usually feel it--so swift and busy.  More awash in a gentle pool and discovering I can breathe underwater after all.

I like this in Bodhipaksa's voice, as it feels that he knows what goes on with me in this peripheral vision exercise:  

I love that I did this 30-day challenge as part of my year of retreat--indeed--at the very beginning of it as a way to assist everything else I do from now on.

Monday 9/28--The Day After.
I did the River Meditation above, and didn't realize it had ended--kept right on going!!  Perhaps not for long, but still. I like that it has no bells at the end and that eyes and all senses are open.  What a way to walk in the woods.  What a way to walk outside at all! Love.

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