Where does inspiration lie? Everywhere!

This is my attempt to pounce on and then shape the words I breathe.

Please join me with your comments and make this a dialogue . . . and visit Susan's Poetry!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

31 Words Seeking Poetry

From 7-23-2014, an unfinished poem, from me and my Aquarius rising, posted today for Isadora's Poems in Progress at Imaginary Garden with Real Toads:


Whether to expand or shrink through prayer
is surely a problem of semantics
of small experiential interest.

Are flowers obstacles to a garden?
What of their soil, water, air and sun?



I cannot remember why I was thinking of questioning prayer's growth-inducing properties or thinking of prayer as a flower or as an elements needed to support the life of flora, bees and anything that grows.  I cannot remember why I stuck to 8-foot lines that have no metrical integrity.

I don't have a next line; I have no experiment or experience to suggest.  One or the other or both would save this would-be-poem from extinction!

Thank you.

Note:  As we write this poem, help me by visiting more than once! 

One solution, Thursday at 7pm: 

Prayer doesn't change anything
naivete says, and I sigh.
Intangibles like insurance
charge sky high for certain returns
which prayer cannot do, for sure.

But the hand of prayer holds me—
it has my back.  And being held
in the Light does something like that.
For a meeting, the sure attention
means guardians on our path.

But I still want to try character as suggested below!




20 comments:

  1. Your opening gambit certainly provides food for thought. I think you came up short after posing two rhetorical questions. If the flower is to be your metaphor, then you have your way ahead.

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    Replies
    1. Hmm. It may have to be cut completely! Or be a conclusion to the flower's poem ...

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  2. or maybe the garden is the source of life for a flower... like they are the child of the garden!-
    I can only humbly suggest!! although i think your poetry is too refined for my crude suggestions... i hope this helps!!

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    Replies
    1. Interesting. (Refined, Ha! snort!) That may work, when one thinks of raising children ... I can only think of two cases in which these things might be obstacles--one is if it is not a flower garden; one is if prayer/flower are a deliberate straw horse meant to break on the poem itself. As in, even a poem could not create this situation.

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  3. So:

    Saying that prayer could detract from life
    is like saying flowers are obstacles
    to gardens--that soil, water, air and sun
    nurture no one, nay, that children do not
    matter to the human race. Let us pray;

    (Better. still unfinished ... )

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  4. I thought about "Are flowers obstacles to a garden?" If so, why? Too frivolous, not physically nourishing, a waste of time and money esp annuals that don't come back but do produce seeds. How does that translate to prayers? Frivolous prayers? Unimportant prayers? I don't know just thinking as I type. Good luck.

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    1. Flowers could be seen as useless as lawns until you think about how necessary they are to bees, butterflies and hummingbirds--and through them, all life. Good, Good.

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  5. For me, the opening expanding or shrinking in prayer is a gateway to lots of musing...for me, it brings up the idea of silence as opposed to many words.

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    1. They also serve who silently wait! Nice Hannah, let me add this to my thoughts. The Lilies of the field ...

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  6. I definitely think this has potential, but it feels like it might be more like mid poem lines. Perhaps starting off by showing some strong imagery with tension, that builds to this? Thanks for putting this out there!

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    1. Thanks for the prompt, Isadora. I didn't expect to get ideas! I thought I'd confirm that the lines are stupid. But hey, I'm beginning to see a poem. Your comment made me think of the scene in TKAmockingbird where Jem cuts the heads of Mrs. Dubois' prize flowers.

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  7. I wouldn't ask the questions so directly, in a poem. Maybe use the vehicle of a nun or a monk praying in a garden, and pose these questions without literally posing them?

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    1. Strong character ideas. I might could work with age and retirement--

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  8. I agree with Shay, your beginning (or middle/end) sounds like a soliloquy to me. Keep going, it's going to be a good one!

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    Replies
    1. Hmm. Beginning to cook here, back to the original. What fun!

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  9. I'm afraid that I feel I need a little bit more before I can stick my oar in. A character maybe, or an idea of where you want it to go.

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    1. What does prayer do for those who devote their time to it? Are they any less for leaving other pursuits behind?
      I say that they are essential contributors to life's grace--whether those who need t know it or not.

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  10. Who do your full-time praying people pary for? And does it amtter or os it good enough to present a discussion with a higher being? Is it merely self-indulgent or habit?
    Preferable to actually doing something hands0on for others?
    Are you going to want to place arguments back and forth in your poem? ARe you viewing it from your own self? Is it going to be a life-guide for some section of society? Are you going to give a reaction from those not involved int he paraying? Are they aware of it going on? Do they have to be aware of it? Will yo make them?
    Hundreds of questions. I'll try and repress the rest :-)

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    1. Are you referring to my reply to you or new version of the poem that I put in the post? Here it is again:

      Prayer doesn't change anything
      naivete says, and I sigh.
      Intangibles like insurance
      charge sky high for certain returns
      which prayer cannot do, for sure.

      But the hand of prayer holds me—
      it has my back. And being held
      in the Light does something like that.
      For a meeting, the sure attention
      means guardians on our path.

      Also, I read the responses you suggested we pursue off line. I think they would make a good poem.
      Perhaps you could give me an email address?

      Delete
  11. but i like the idea of musing about flowers and whether they are a burden to the garden. :)

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